Category Archives: Large Jury Awards.

Tablesaws & Knuckleheads–Victims: They’re Costing Us a Lot of Money


According to some: “The Bohemian Rhapsody is the greatest song ever written. I agree, to a point; it’s definitely “one” of the greatest! (One of my favorites for certain!) And no victims here…well, maybe Freddy, I guess he couldn’t help being gay, though, and he couldn’t help catching that terrible disease that wasted him. And, in this song, I suspect there is a victim somewhere. After all the song begins with him (the singer, Freddy I expect) claiming to have shot a man.
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Some time ago I used to post regularly to Hubpages.com. Then I moved to this blog where I get fewer comments but many more hits. Can’t have it all I guess. Anyway, here is a version of one of my hub-posts.
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Tablesaws & Knuckleheads (Feel free to replace knuckleheads with victims.)

My favorite columnist wrote a piece today (quite a while back) that I just have to share, at least the high points and my own opinion, and you all know I love giving opinions.

It seems the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) has counted the knuckleheads—I mean “people”—who have lost fingers each year to accidents with tablesaws. (I’ll explain my use of “knuckleheads” later.”

Oh yes, I should identify my favorite Columnist: She’s a lady, Kathleen Parker, a good-looking lady who writes for Tribune Media Services, a lady who I would identify as moderate-leaning-right, just my kind of person. If she writes a column—and I see it—I read it. I don’t think I have ever disagreed with her, and, hang onto your hats, folks, in several of her past columns she has supported the idea of the usefulness and need of men.

To get back to tablesaws, okay, they can be dangerous, and that’s why one should be careful…you know, don’t put your finger(s) where they should not be. Push that board through the saw, and the last few inches use another board to finish pushing it, especially with long rip-cuts (and if you don’t know what a ‘rip-cut’ is you shouldn’t be using a saw at all, at least not alone.) I mean, there are times when even I follow my own safety procedures, but come on, that blade is rotating—I don’t know how fast—but fast, faster than you can withdraw your finger, after it’s gone. In fact you won’t even feel the severing, not for a second or two, you might even see blood spurting before you feel the pain. And, oh boy, there will be pain, plenty of pain-payment later for that stupidity.

Why am I talking like this? Why am I making fun of people for being stupid? I’ll tell you why: It seems the afore mentioned CPSC is “noodling” (Kathleen’s word…not sure what she means there; probably a word she coined for “stupid.”) Anyway, the CPSC is “noodling” new regulations to make tablesaws safer.

In other words, we can’t just be careful, we need Big Brother Government to make the world safer for us. And now the gist of my sarcasm:

It seems a few years ago “…a fellow named Steve Gass invented a safety stop that provides the solution to severed fingers and other body parts. The saw literally senses when the blade nicks skin and slams on brakes within three one-thousandths of a second.” I mean this guy actually invented this thing, costly, yes, adding in the neighborhood of $100 to the cost of a saw.

And would every saw get this invention, wanted or not? What about the real cheapies? (I suspect there are cheapies out there.) And there likely would be a thriving black market selling saws “without” this…invention. And what about all the other kinds of saws: Circular saws, saber saws, reciprocating saws, and drills! OMG, the list goes on! And what about the thousands (millions?) of saws already out there? Would there be the largest recall of saws in history?

Again, I’m being sarcastic. Sorry, but a knucklehead is a knucklehead. There simply are people not bright enough to operate any dangerous equipment. Unfortunately, they also aren’t bright enough to know that they aren’t bright enough, or, they simply still haven’t grown out of the idea of Disneyland. Sorry to bring up Disneyland, as I love the idea of a place where nobody gets hurt and nobody ever really dies.

Now I’ll get to the real reason for my sarcasm: When something is made safe, unhurtable to your fingers and other body parts, people get this new attitude: well, if it can’t hurt me it must be safe. Therefore the people who weren’t being safety conscious before, will be even less so now. They’ll be less careful with that blade spinning fast enough and sharp enough to give a piece of wood a very smooth cut…and there goes the finger. Sure, the blade stopped but is even that three one-thousandths of a second really quick enough?

I would guess NO. Maybe your finger won’t actually be severed but I suspect you will get more than a papercut, but that’s just me. Hey, I’m trying to be humorous here too!

And Kathleen’s column was much funnier than my little opinion piece here. She ends with, and I’ll again go verbatim: “If only there were a braking system for knuckleheadedness.”
Thanks, Kathleen!
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The following 2-minute video (what might be grunge rock; I’m not up on grunge rock) really has nothing to do with my post, but I liked the cover.